In Seeking as in Finding
by Caskettlove77
Summary: A one-shot set during the holidays. Takes place before, but close to 47 seconds in a world where that was at Christmas time. Castle and Beckett at an ice skating rink.


A/N: I apologize for any errors. The idea popped in my head and I wrote this rather quickly. I hope you enjoy!

* * *

Rick Castle loves this time of year. Christmas to be specific, but all the days between then and the New Year when people are kind and generosity abounds. Long days spent with loved ones, twinkling lights everywhere and time to enjoy life make it special for him.

It's a few days after Christmas now and after being inside the loft for several days, Rick needed to get out and get some fresh air. Normally he'd be at the precinct with Beckett but she had the weekend off and no open case.

Though he'd invited her to stop at the loft after her shift over the holiday he'd known she wouldn't. However, he was grateful that she'd taken the chance and opened up to him about the importance of working the Christmas shift and how these days can be hard because of the timing of her mother's death. Kate had even allowed him to take her hand in his for a brief moment of support.

Now he finds himself taking in the sights and lights of the city. He ends up at the Rink at Rockefeller Center watching the skaters, and sending a picture of the spectacle to Alexis. Some are almost professional level, flying and jumping over the ice. While others are obviously new to the sport, tumbling after just a few glides.

He's just about to walk on when he thinks he spots Beckett. But, maybe it's just his wishful thinking. Rick walks closer to the rink and realizes-yes, it's Beckett out on the ice. And wow, she's good. Hadn't she told him she was a disaster out on the ice?

She rounds the curve and is heading straight for him when he can tell he has caught her eye. A beautiful smile crosses her face, and his heart does a little jump in his chest.

"Hey Castle," Kate says gliding to a stop and leaning over the guardrail in front of him.

"Beckett. Hi," he replies slowly and completely enamored at seeing her here.

"Did you come to skate?"

"Me? No, no I am not coordinated enough to skate. You've seen me attempt to catch a ball right?"

His comment earns him a laugh and it's so wonderful to be with her after a few days of not seeing her. He's missed her and though he knows he should be patient, that they are working towards something, the fact that just a few days without her makes his heartache doesn't help the waiting at all.

"I thought you said that you were no good at skating," he inquires.

"When I was younger I wasn't, but I've picked it up more over the years. I like to come out here a few times over the winter. This is where Mom and I would come together. Sometimes to watch and sometimes to skate."

Castle nods his understanding. "There is something magical about this place, with the lights and the music playing."

"Yeah, there is," Kate replies looking at their surroundings. "So," she says with some determination, "today is your lucky day. I'm going to teach you to skate."

"Oh, no. Beckett, seriously that is not a good idea-"

But his rebuttal comes too late as she's already taken his hand over the rail and is pulling him to the warming house where they have skates for rent.

"Not getting out of this one Castle. Come on, where is your sense of adventure? I thought you of all people were up for anything," she teases and her playfulness is thrilling.

Though she doesn't give him much chance to protest, he realizes that though he'll probably spend most of the time on the ice on his ass, if he gets to spend time with Kate, it'll be well worth it.

"I am up for anything, but I'm pretty sure I'll be spending most of the time flat on the ice."

"That's alright. I'll be there to take a picture and then help you up," she says jokingly.

He can't help but notice just how warm and open she is being with him today. It makes his heart ache a little at just how much he wants her. But, he tries his best to just enjoy what she gives.

Moments later, she's holding both of his hands in hers, skating backward and pulling him onto the ice. Rick is stiff, doing his absolute best not to fall within the first two seconds of being out here with her, but man, this is hard. How do people manage to twirl and do elaborate jumps and landings? He can barely stand in one spot.

"Ok, so make a triangle with your feet. Here, like this," Kate says showing him and then tapping on one of his legs to encourage him to do the same.

"How did I let you talk me into this?" he responds as he is barely able to move his foot to the side.

"Good. Now push out with one foot and glide on the other. Then you switch and do the same thing with the other foot. That's how you'll move forward." Her eyes are soft as she watches him try to do as she says but at his first movement he loses his balance and grabs tight to her hands. She responds and is able to keep them from falling.

"Kate, I'm going to make us fall…"

"Everyone falls when they are first learning," she says, but just at that moment a young girl maybe age five, flys by them. She turns skates backward and then turns again.

Rick huffs in annoyance and Kate's smile is back illuminating her face.

She really looks beautiful tonight. He can't help noticing how she looks a little bit lighter, her cheeks pink from the cold and tendrils of hair loose and framing her face.

"Yeah, but it's different when a two-year-old falls and when a grown man does."

"Just hold tight and try again. You'll be fine."

He does what she says and this time he does move forward a little bit.

"I'll pull you and you push off and it will help you glide. Then we'll have some momentum to keep going," she instructs. They work together, ever partners even here away from her job, away from criminals and the pursuit of justice. It lightens his heart a bit to know that they really are great together. It's not just something specific to their work at the precinct or to his writing and research.

They glide along like this for awhile advancing slowly around the rink, all the while Rick gains confidence.

"I'm going to skate beside you now. I think you're ready," she says, dropping one of his hands to come to his side. He holds tight to that hand though, and she gives it a squeeze to assure him she won't let go.

"So, did you ever try skating as a kid?" she inquires as she watches his feet move side to side.

"There was one time we went as a class with school. They didn't really spend much time teaching us. I brought Alexis a lot when she was younger, but I would mostly sit and watch. She took to it so naturally that it was more fun for me to watch her and less embarrassing for her not to see me fall all the time." Rick wavers a little as he talks, but he's not doing so bad now.

"Well, maybe you can surprise her the next time you go. Show her what you have learned."

"Only if you come and hold my hand," he teases risking a glance in her direction. He can't be sure, but her cheeks seemed to pink a little more at that.

They are unprepared when a few teens come rushing up from behind them, too close for comfort and as they adjust so as not to be hit, Castle loses his balance falling backward on the ice and pulling Kate down with him.

He lands flat on his back knocking his head just a little and Kate lands right on top of him.

"Oh, that hurt," he mumbles stock still, his eyes closed in a moment of pain.

Kate is warm above him, her long lean limbs tangled with his are a comfort to the pain he feels in his back.

"Castle, are you ok?" She sounds so concerned for him, but really it was more the shock that took the breath out of him.

"Yep, I think I'm ok," he says opening his eyes to find hers so close.

"You hit your head. Here let me see," she says drawing her hand over the side of his face, gently across his neck until she is able to lift his head off the ice. "Looks like you might end up with a little bump," she says inspecting him. "But, no blood so that's good news."

He knows he can't. He can't kiss her. She's not ready and they are supposed to be waiting, but having her here so close, being so tender with him is taking all of his will power to control himself.

She catches him watching her and begins to back away, removing her body from his and helping him sit up.

"I'll be alright. Do people always skate so fast?" Rick asks rubbing the back of his head.

"Come on hotshot. Let's get you up."

Using the railing and Kate as leverage he manages to get up without further incident.

"I think it's time to call this the end of the lesson."

"But I was doing so well," he whines.

"You were. Why don't we get a hot chocolate to celebrate surviving your first fall," she suggests with a little tease.

He's not quite sure what is happening with her today. Normally he'd be the one pushing to spend more time together, he'd be the one offering her hot chocolate or a movie or anything to make the night last longer. Not that he is going to say no to her offer that is. He does consider himself an intelligent man.

They manage to get out of the rink in one piece and out of their skates.

"It feels so good to be back on solid ground again," Rick says taking Kate's skates from her and carrying them as they make their way to the street. Finding a cab is no trouble tonight, but he finds himself surprised when Beckett gives the driver her address.

"That was fun," Rick says as they enter her apartment.

"It was," she smiles back, taking off her boots and coat and then taking Castle's to hang on her coat rack.

They walk to the kitchen together, Rick leaning on the counter as Kate begins to gather the ingredients she needs.

"You are a really good teacher. You're actually really patient," he says fiddling with the salt shaker in front of him.

She turns to give him a glare, a look he is well acquainted with. "Are you saying that I am normally not a good, patient teacher," she challenges him.

"No, not- I mean… Listen," he says trying his best to dig himself out of the situation, "When I started shadowing you, you didn't really have much interest in teaching me anything and you were not patient with me."

"Castle, that is because you drove me nuts," she explains as if it is clear as day. He watches her pour the milk into a pot and turn the burner on before coming back to face him.

"You wouldn't leave me alone. You were practically stalking me!" She exclaims, but there is no hint of malice in her voice.

"What? No way. I was definitely not stalking you," he threw back in banter.

"You would show up at the crime scenes before me. You were everywhere," she shakes her head at him, but can't stop that little smirk from forming on her beautiful lips.

She turns to add the chocolate and stirs the mixture until it is to her satisfaction.

"Well, I think we make a pretty good team now. And I hope I'm not as annoying to you as I once was," he says, accepting the mug that she holds out to him.

"Oh, you are definitely still annoying."

"Huh," he pouts.

"But, I guess I have gotten used to having you around," she throws out to him. "And I suppose that you have proven to be helpful a time or two." She smiles at him and he smiles back, warm and full.

"Yeah, especially two weeks ago when I saved your life again."

"Are we going to start up with that again?" she asks. "I still say that your score is wrong. I most definitely have saved your life more than you have saved mine."

"Mmm," he moans taking a sip of the cocoa. "I'll show you my scorebook the next time you come over to the loft."

They are side by side on her couch, warm mugs in hand and Beckett has stretched her legs to lay next to his on the chaise. Everything feels right and perfect.

She gives him a light punch to the shoulder for his last comment but they are mostly quiet for a while as they enjoy each other's company.

"This is nice Kate," Rick says looking over at her. "I'm glad I ran into you today."

"Me too," she agrees with a warm tilt of her lips.

"I want to say something and I hope I'm not out of line," Rick says holding her gaze.

She nods for him to continue.

"I missed you. These last few days that we had no case and it was the holidays. I just-I missed you," he says with a gentle voice as if saying it soft enough wouldn't scare her away.

"I missed you too, Rick," she says, setting her cup down on the coffee table. The sound of his name on her lips does things to his insides. Things he tries to push down.

"And I'm really glad that we ran into each other. I actually-" she pauses and has that bottom lip pulled between her teeth again. "I actually found myself thinking a lot about you these last few days. Well, maybe more than just these last few days."

He can't stop the look of hopeful shock that must be written all over his face. "You- really?"

"Yes. I'm sorry I didn't stop by after my shift the other day. I just, it was just too much."

"Kate you don't have to feel bad-"

"No, I-I know but I really did want to see you. I came home alone to my apartment and had Chinese food just like I always do. Normally it's enough. I stand guard over the city and so other families can be together, but this year… This year my heart wasn't in it," Kate has somehow come even closer to him and has taken his cup from his hand to set on the table beside hers.

"This year," she continues, his entire attention completely on her, "my heart was somewhere else."

He can feel his pulse picking up with her words and the blood begins to pound in his ears when she reaches over and takes his hand, soft warm skin over his own as she links their fingers and presses their palms together.

"My heart was with you, Rick," she breathes out, warm eyes meeting his. "I thought that I needed more time. I thought that I needed her case to be over but if I have learned anything about life lately it's that I shouldn't take it for granted and I shouldn't take you for granted."

"Kate, my heart was with you too. My heart _is always _with you."

She smiles and brings their hands to sit atop her thigh. "I hope that you know that it was you I was talking about that day on the swings," she says searching his face. "That it is you I want to have a relationship with."

"I hoped. I hoped it was me, but sometimes I wasn't sure."

"I don't want to leave you with any doubts then," Kate says lifting her hand to caress his cheek and run her thumb over the soft skin under his eye. "Rick, I want to be with you. And not just tonight, not just for fun. I care for you so much."

"Oh Kate," he says pulling her to him in an embrace. Her body halfway covering his own, her leg tangling between his thighs. "What I want with you is anything and everything you are ready to give. I can wait if you want, I just-I just want you."

She leans in and kisses him then. Warm lips insistent and sure against his own. And he knows that she is sure; that she wants this as badly as he does. He lets his tongue meet hers as they explore each other intimately. Castle's hands wandering over her back, to her sides and pulling her tighter to him. Kate adjusts her body over his, aligning their hips and delighting in the moan that he releases into her mouth at the slide of her body.

"I just want you too," she says, eyes dark and full of want. "Just you." She kisses him again and then there's not much time for talking. Kate was always better at showing and she wouldn't stop until he knew how much he meant to her.

* * *

Several hours later, they are tangled together in her bed. The only lights coming from the streak of the open curtain of her window.

He remembers to text Alexis before he succumbs to sleep. His little girl always worries when she doesn't know where he is.

_**Won't be home until the morning. Don't wait up for me. **_

**So I guess Beckett found you?**

_**What do you mean sweetheart?**_

**She came by the loft earlier looking for you. **

**I let her know where to find you. **

He smiles and looks over at Kate asleep on his chest.

_**Yes. She found me. **_

**Ok, good. I'm happy for you Dad. **

_**Thanks, Pumpkin. **_

He uses the glow of his phone to take one more look, in absolute awe of the woman next to him. The love of his life finally here in his arms, and Rick smiles as he holds her just a little tighter, knowing that tomorrow is the first day they get to start together.


End file.
